how could I not?

And when I wake in these mountains, when the first warm rays of sun are  yet to stream to the valley bottom. When the world is still quiet and sleepy and the odour of morning mist and autumn leaves hangs in the air. When the only sound is the call of a kestrel, the chiming of the church bells.

How could I not? How could I not, this life, my life, not love? With it's ups and it's downs. With it's stumbles and falls. With it's getting up again. With the rain and the sunshine. With the fatigue, yes. Oh that fatigue.

But also with all the small moments. With the people on my side. With the breath. With the heartbeat. My heartbeat. His heartbeat. How could I not be in love with it? It is not perfect. But I am living, breathing, creating. How could I not? Because it is imperfect. Sometimes tangled. Lumpy and bumpy. But it is mine.

"Be in love with your life. Every minute of it." (Jack Kerouac)

How could I not?

(Inspired by the lovely Faye...)

going slowly

I took the better part of a month away from the blog since the start of the Autumn. I needed to find some perspective, because at first I was convinced it was something that I no longer wanted to continue. Early September I was literally washed out from my month of thermal treatment and I was convinced it was best to give it all up, to write a final farewell and bid you all good luck. 

But six weeks in, I realise now my doubts were short lived and so I set about planning a new name, a fresh design and a second beginning. 

A few weeks ago, I realised that I wanted to change the name of the blog. Blue moon had never really resonated with me, it was just something I plucked from the air back in May when I first discovered a heap of other bloggers and felt compelled to join in the conversation. 

It was fine at the time, but I've never really felt as though it represented my feelings or my intention. I don't want my blog to be for only sharing notable milestones or tales of sleepless nights. Instead I want to use it as a means of exploring ideas of wellness and seeking inspiration. I want it also to be about my experience of gently crafting a slow and deliberate life, one which is fulfilling personally and not only sustainable for me health wise. 

Since this realisation, I've been trying to come up with a new name...to no avail. Then over the weekend, I realised the perfect name had been staring me in the face the entire time. 

Going slowly is a series I created over on my craft blog, that has been documenting the ups and downs of my life with M.E. since I started it up in 2013. I've always found it to be a very positive way of understanding what at times can be a very limiting aspect of my life. And more importantly, it really is becoming my personal philosophy as I learn to face the reality of this illness for the rest of my life. Going slowly is what I am learning to practise, but not what I have perfected. Which I think is very apt,  considering this blog is an ever-changing, always evolving story.